Facebook Friends vs Real Friends


Social networks are all the rage right now.  It seems everywhere I go I hear people talking about a new “friend” that they accepted on Facebook.  Heck, my mom has a Facebook!  Over the past few months my friend list has grown tremendously.  I have been reconnecting with old friends from college and high school.  I do not strive to have an incredibly large friend list.  I’m the type of person who cares deeply about the people and I like to actually know the people that I am friends with.

While these friends are great and it is nice to know that Bill is doing well out in Utah and everyone needs to know that Jenna misses her cell phone there also seems a bit of disconnection that occurs through these friendships.  We keep each other at safe distances and reveal as much as we want to online and yet never actually spend time with our “friends” any more.  It seems as though these friendships need to be changed.

I write this after having spent the day snowboarding with Scott Campbell and Matt Trottier.  Scott & I went to school together junior high through college and Matt and I grew up together from elementary school through high school.  I have seen Scott every so often – we both agree not enough, and it has literally been almost 20 years since I last got together with Matt.  Today we spent the day on the slopes catching up with each other.  It was so refreshing to see each other and spend a great day reconnecting.  We plan on doing this much more often.  Matt even wants to work together with me to use Facebook to recruit more old high school friends to another day on the slopes.

This all raises the question, what are you doing to connect with friends outside of the safety of your computer screen?  

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mom on February 24, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    I listened to your message from Sunday(great by the way)and read your blog and you have so much within you that God is using and I am so proud of you. Yes Facebook is a tool to keep communicating with our friends that we may not see frequently but as you said we need to see our friends and family more often. We need to be mindful of what we post as others are reading and seeing the pictures, and if it is not honoring God or keeping our life pure then we must reconsider our priorities in life.


  2. Kevin,

    Good post.

    I’ve recently developed a facebook application that might help with the facebook vs. real friend issue. It is called Friend Grade and it basically ranks/grades your friends based on how well they know you (using a short 5 question test).

    Take a look….I’d greatly appreciate your perspective.



  3. Posted by Joy Norris on February 16, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Kev: Wisely put! You speak truth and I encourage a few close friends to stand in the gap together and to rejoice with. However, the F/B network has provided a new avenue of catching up and re-connecting with folks from the past. I’ve enjoyed chatting with you Mother and reading that you and Scott are where you are in life since years have passed since we were in touch. I don’t like the idea of F/B replacing personal connections, but I do see it’s place. Another question I have, is how much time is/will be spent on F/B that is profitable and serves a real purpose. I know from some of the young teens F/B profiles that a lot of untruth is out there and being ‘careful’ cannot be stressed enough. In all we do it must be in moderation and glory our Father!
    I enjoy reading your thoughts.
    Glad you had a great day and glad you are home in one piece. Scott said he was gonna hurt you!

    Serving Him in Peru,



  4. Posted by Brian Ford on February 16, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    Great post! I recently posted this very topic as a debate on MinistryQuestions.com. I sometimes wonder if social networking will replace real face to face connections in youth ministry. (I know that sounds extreme…but) Thanks for your thoughts Kevin!


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