Open Letter To Teenage Girls

Dear Teenage Girls,

I know many of you.  I spend time with you.  I pray for you.  I know your parents.  I pray for them even more.  Over the past few years many of you have become “friends” with me on Facebook.  I think this is a great thing.  I am always looking for ways to connect with people and I see Facebook as one of those ways that help to build relationship.  That being said, can I be honest and blunt with you for a moment?

You show too much of yourself in the pictures that you post.  I understand that it’s all the rage to take a picture of yourself by extending your arm high up into the arm, above yourself, in a way that aims the camera down.  I’m not so naive to believe that you are not aware of how the camera is angled or what exactly the picture focuses in on.  I’m as Pastor and I take the calling I have very humbly.  But before I am a Pastor I am a Father.  I take that role very seriously.  I love my two daughters.  I don’t think that I am your father.  You have a father, or at least some of you do.  Some of you may be missing that relationship for one reason or another.  I know that you not having a great connection with your father is not part of God’s plan.  With that being said, can you hear the words I write as words from a father – please?

putthemawayStop posting pictures of your breasts on Facebook.  I understand that you are proud of what God has blessed you with.  I am quite sure that is true because you keep giving all of us that are in your friend list access to numerous pictures of them.  Please, hear my heart for you as you read these words.  You may be proud of the “girls,”  but you are not doing yourself any favors by showing them to the rest of us.  The people that are looking at these pictures are not looking at these images and thinking, “what a nice smile she has”  nor are they thinking about how happy you look.

The pictures that you are posting of yourself make you look cheap.  I’m sorry for saying this but you need to understand that you are freely giving away something that costs you dearly.  The boys at school may like you more because of the pictures that you are posting but they aren’t liking you for the reasons that you HOPE they are liking you for.  They are happy that you are posting these pictures.  Some are VERY happy.  These boys will want to spend time with you.  At least, for a little while they will.  But soon enough someone else will come along that will show them more of what they want to see.  At this point you will be faced with a choice.

“Do I give them more?  Do I allow them to touch me?  Do I give myself away?

If I don’t do this they may not like me any more.”

Many of these questions, if you are already struggling with friendships, will be easy to answer.  You will say yes.  You may not want to but the pull to have someone attracted to you will be too strong.  No one wants to be rejected.  I understand that.  I also understand the heartache that comes from being used and then left behind.  Don’t give yourself away – in any form.  Change the angle of the camera.  Aim it at your face.  Put on some clothes that hide some of the front of you.  We love you – all of you – but we don’t need to see ALL of you.

In my attempt to add a bit of humor to this post.  I’ll make this one last statement.

Put away your boobs and step away from the camera.  Please.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. […] letters from Kevin Twombly to teenage girls, teenage boys, and […]

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  2. Posted by Carla Fowler on September 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Pastor Kevin – Thank you so much for your heart for our youth. Even though my daughter is stil young, I know these are issues that will have to be dealt with over the coming years. I hope every teenager reads this and realizes how much you love them. To keep our kids pure……………….what an awesome task! Thanks again for all you do.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Tammy Hardy on September 23, 2009 at 9:17 am

    From the Mom of a teenage daughter…Amen! Thanks for reinforcing what I try to teach her, Kevin. I so love your heart for those kids.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Melanie B. on September 23, 2009 at 6:39 am

    Thank you for loving the ‘young ladies’ enough to be bluntly honest with them! This has been our heart’s cry for a long time too! AND, for the young men.. most of you would not appreciate any guy looking at your sister or mom this way and might even ‘hurt’ someone if they did! Well, guys, these girls ARE someone’s sister! (and daughter and will be someone’s mom one day too!)

    God bless you ALL!

    Reply

  5. Kev: Thanks for keeping it real. Ephesians 5:3 says to all of those who follow Jesus that there shouldn’t be “even a hint” of impurity in our lives. Your letter is a strong reminder of how easy it is for those “hints” to slip into the fabric of our daily lives if we’re not careful.

    Reply

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